Grandsons..partially edited

Their mother died,  my daughter alive 

fell in love.  They in a life that included loss, 

knew love.  I benefit playing games, 

reading stories.  Do you want to walk with

me, bike, hey Gg ( grandma gloria) look, 

see me,  kiss my baby brother, where

is he first question always, 

they know love and loss are part of the whole.

Mommy Heidi dead.

 Mama Lora, Grandma Jan, Grandmother 

Gloria, brought together by loss and love, 

taught  the details, continuing to be taught the details by 

boys, whose lessons began early, 

too early, I think.      yet       the benefits to 

me    to the world   

 Immense 

Could ever I have imagined so great a life of

blessings,  unanticipated,   Grief and loss too

much to carry 

on,  I sometimes thought

so great can loss be. 

"A small child shall lead them" 

And so I go on...

gkn April 2016

Illusions?

It struck me as yesterday I walked amid wild flowers and elk,  as I admired hill tops and ocean shores,  that my life could not be better.  Even if I had made different choices.  It would not be better, it would be different. 

 It struck me that my life was good,  not because I had done anything right,  or wrong.  I have been one of the lucky ones,  who had privilege and opportunity, to make choices, to live dreams.  

My judgements, my if only (ies), my beliefs, indeed my  choices would not have the power to make my life better...they would, potentially make it different.  My notions of better are an illusion.  An illusion I use to dismiss the delights and challenges of the life I am living.  An illusion I use to  harm myself and sometimes others. 

Today as I climbed the dipsea trail down, down, down the stairs I thought about the climb up, with excitment at counting all those stairs and dread at the sore muscles.   Then Alex said she would pick me up.  We ate gelato that tasted like fresh mint.  We hiked to the ocean and were washed by wind and ocean spray. 

I am blessed! 

gkn April 14, 2015 

Thanks to the comments love to get your thoughts and feedback,  here or via email 😊

Bonnie

SYesterday you lived, 

danced in the flowers, travelled 

with gusto, to see.

laughter filled your outrage, 

tears fell.  

Your soul departed, your body 

was burned, we danced, spread your ashes, 

watched them blow, watched you dance 

with the birds, in the waves, 

In the flowers, 

tears fell.

Today, you live, 

you dance, 

we travel, with gusto 

we see, laughter 

fills outrage, 

tears fall. 

Your presence, your absence 

one.

gkn April 12,2016

Easter lesson

Yesterday we celebrated again,  

with a toddler who did not notice 

that the Easter bunny was late or early, 

he did not 

care that snow was falling again, 

he saw the colourful eggs, 

he forgot his cold, his low grade fever aches, 

his runny nose,  in the eggs he found

excitment, writing delight across his face,  

carefully placing easter basket stickers 

on waiting adults, new life was born.

gkn april 2016